Defensive tactics

This blog entry is to provide a place for my credentials for teaching self-defense.  Credentials are important but not everything as someone can have an array of credentials but not a good instructor. I’ve taken the time to not only learn skills for self-defense but also attended various week long sessions were the focus was not learning new skills but instead to learn what it takes to be a good instructor.

I offer several classes that revolve around empty hand and impact weapon tactics but not limited to these. Although I have and can still teach firearm tactics my belief is there are many full-time instructors in the area that are best suited for this so I defer to them and will recommend them.

Skills alone are not good enough so I begin all classes with several things e.g. the force continuum, legality and mindset.

A typical class involves four hours of me teaching, a long lunch then review and practice what I taught prior to lunch. The long lunch break may sound odd but after four hours of working through the techniques taught requires some downtime. Overall class time is six to eight hours but can be shorten dependent on students time.

Prices, contact me for a price and more than happy to sit down with you to discuss a plan that best suits your needs. Minimal size class is four with a maximum of 12.

Attending class, dress comfortably. Any jewelry needs to be removed prior to start of class and any weapons must be removed from your person for the safety of others other than a kubaton or tactical flashlight.

For the LGBT community I teach at no cost provided there are at least six students.  For woman only classes my fee is half of my normal cost for a class.



  • 2001-2013 senior instructor for “The Jacobe Group LLC” in Salem Oregon lecturing in a concealed handgun license class each Thursday evening, live firearm instructor, lead instructor for empty hand defensive classes, LLC (specialized impact tool) instructor, Kubaton instructor, handgun retention/disarming class and defensive cane instructor.
  • Twice each year assisted in lecturing to 300-500 college students use of force and requirements for obtaining a concealed handgun license with the Jacobe Group
  • 2005-2008 provided specialized empty hand training to Marines and Army at the Jacobe group
  • 2002-2010 Executive protection for several clients
  • 2008-2012 provided specialized classes to two Fortune 500 companies.


  • Certified instructor by CSSDSC.
  • 2014 voted into a prestigious martial arts organization (they are mainly Grand Masters which I’m not) for impact and edge weapons tactical instructor.
  • Certified with American Council on Criminal Justice (Law Enforcement organization) for empty hand tactics, handcuffing and batons
  • Certified with ASP as a baton instructor
  • Certified handgun retention/disarming instructor with Lethal Force Institute
  • Certified Kubaton instructor with Lethal Force Institute
  • NRA Firearms instructor

Completed level 4 at Lethal Force Institute (now MAG) while under the ownership of Massad Ayoob. Level 4 is an intense firearm course where attendance is capped at 20 people every four years.

Assisted as range instructor at Firearms Academy of Seattle for Massad Ayoob.

Paused teaching in 2013 for GRS surgery, 2014 to present been teaching private classes.

Bad surgery story

The following is scary to say the least

Ten days ago I was there for a male to female having reassignment surgery. The surgery lasted too long in my opinion and that the reason was the surgeon caused a rectovaginal fistula. A friend of hers was told (but not me) that she had gas coming out the vagina on Friday and the friend got her to call the hospital who said they would get back to her but never did.  I did not hear about this until this morning, she text’ d me and said she was concerned. I went over and got her to take pictures and send them to the surgeon. Now this is 10 AM this morning, he said to come in a 5 PM. seriously, this is one bad thing after another.

I learned that while she was in the hospital the care provided was unprofessional from assisting her keeping clean (they would not clean her breast or bottom) to providing sedatives for pain (I had sedatives pushed into me non-stop). Just the other day I learned that OSU, the hospital here in Oregon had a bad reputation for how transgender people were treated and that they were in a transition period to overcome the bad reputation.

Any ways, just received a text from her, they are keeping her tonight. I did not inquire why but a decent guess is because of the rectovaginal fistula.

Now with all this mentioned, she had no real choice being on social security, out of work, never being able to afford surgery. Couple this with extreme dysphoria and a surgeon who has done six reassignment surgeries prior is a recipe for what happened. It really is a catch 22 per-say, boxed in with a one way pass to live with the dysphoria or roll the dice with a surgeon with little experience.

Lesson to take away, if you don’t have the funds to obtain reassignment surgery you may very well be in the hands of people who may perform a bad procedure and as with this person have poor aftercare. If this is you, pay attention to your body after surgery, don’t dismiss even the little things, call them out to those who are taking care of you and this might simply save your life.

Little did I realize

Since last September I have been driving with a Mazda Miata club every Saturday. Before joining the club my car seemed to have everything needed for my needs yet in my first drive with the club I knew more was needed. I was told my skills were very good and that the car could not be out driven but failed to hear the words (customization of the suspension would be needed to do what the top two drivers in the club do).

Roughly eight months later I was totally pushing the car way pasted it’s limits so customization started and finished in three weekends, all work done by professionals who understand what I wanted and the parts were custom also with a good deal of research, trial and error before these parts were put on my car.

So in the past few months I only push the car to it’s current limitations were before doing the same style of driving was pushing the car way passed it’s limits.

Little did I realize how proficient my driving skills are coupled with a fine tune car until today.

A man drove 50 miles to check out our club. Indicated he had exceptional driving skills and want to know if we were going to take a drive today? The lead driver said yes, I simply get into my car as the lead driver knows I am going. Another driver (current club member) indicates he wants to go.

So before continuing, there are drivers who simply love a nice casual drive in the country while the other extreme (my style), we live for twisty roads that have a level of difficulty yet must be safe as this time of year there are people riding bikes or jogging so we are careful.

Well we start off on some soft turns, 30 MPH ones on straight roads, on declines. The new driver is right behind me, seems to be doing well. Next we get into the thick of it, very challenging roads that demand skill and reaction times. Come out of that section and the new driver is now at least one or two minutes behind us so we slow down to wait for them.

We repeat this on other roads, pretty much the same, the two drivers behind us are minutes behind me with me behind the lead driver who is about three car lengths ahead of me.

At the end of the run there is only three of us left, the last driver had peeled off, headed for home. We asked the new driver what he thought of the run. He pretty much called us crazy but used more elegant words. He expressly indicated he could not keep up with us and that he noticed myself and the lead driver virtually never hit our brakes. We simply listened and said “hope you see you back again” but I very much doubt we will.

In hind sight we could had told him that we have mild driving too yet that is not that often.

Going back to the new driver indicating he had great skills, it may be but not for the type of driving we do.

Aggressive driving

When I purchased my 2016 Mazda Miata it seemed like it was the perfect little sports car for me until meeting up with the local Miata club where they are in short very aggressive drivers.

What I mean by aggressive drivers is that we take back roads that rarely see much traffic and take the turns at a much higher speed than recommended. For instance, the speed sign recommends 15 MPH, they take them at 40 to 45 MPH. Now (at least for me) it gets crazier, imagine going on a down hill decline with no more than 30 yards between these turns and it’s one lane with no side of the road.

From September of this year until two months ago I have been very lucky in that while taking these turns (without any braking) I managed to stay on the road. Then at about two months ago I was second to the lead driver, he rounds the turn, no issues (an his car is highly modified suspension wise), I take the turn (zero suspension work) and do a 360 and then some. When it was all done, I am stopped, get out of the car and look at the front of my car. Missed hitting a tree by less than one inch.

Lead driver had stopped, looks out his window and said “think we took a wrong turn”, nothing about me doing the spin. Well we turn around and do the rest of the drive then at lunch he says “that was simply a learning thing, not a mistake as the car is in one piece).

This driver has 20 years doing this type of driving and the fellow who was second to the lead has over ten years in. The one behind me let’s me go in front of him so I can learn better from the lead driver.

So the following Saturday, before heading out on the drive I talked to both of them about what should I get done to better handle the road?

Both recommended specific tires and anti-sway bars (they reduce body roll) with specific settings on the sway bars. Optionally springs which reduce the roll on the tires. 

Went online to the store which sells the anti-sway-bars and springs, ordered them but they arrived two weeks between so I had to hit the auto-shop twice in two weeks.

So my assessment, tires were mounted, made somewhat of a difference, sway-bars where next, they in tangent with the tires made a significant difference. Then the springs were installed, couple the tires, sway bars and springs and the difference was huge.

With all modifications done I took seven 15MPH turns at 45MPH and the car simply attached itself to the road. Tomorrow will be the real test where the drive has been pre-planned and know for sure there will be some fantastic turns.

Okay, important note here in regards to aggressive driving. Unless you know what you are doing please don’t take your car out and hit roads and turns as mentioned above. Even when you have experience it’s dangerous and without experience it could very well be your last time out driving.

I first learned from taking a LEO (Law Enforcement Officers) week long course which is not the same as aggressive driving but the physics and methods are the same. In my youth I was able to drive Corvettes, Porches and Triumph sports cars on similar roads I drive now but not nearly as aggressively. My last car was a Toyota Camry with beefed up suspension and that kept my skills up yet with all that there was still a learning curve driving with this club. So be safe, know your limitations and come home in one piece.


Loaned out

I work for a state agency for the past twenty years and recently another agency close by asked my manager if they could borrow me for a week. The request was urgent so after my manager received I was on my way to the other agency. When I arrived the CEO, a former employee of my agency greeted me, thanked me for coming right over. Within an hour I was assisting them with the problem that brought me in for and finished the day out.

Day two, in the afternoon the woman who greeted me the first day brought a manager over to meet me. This other manager had also worked at my agency and unlike the CEO who knew me in my male identity did not know of my transition. So in the introduction the manager asked how long I had been working at my agency. In return I said twenty years, mostly in one division. The manager in turn said she had worked in this division at the same time and does not remember me.

So she ask me question after question trying to remember me but can’t. The entire time I am waiting for her to say something like “Hey you were a male before” or something like that. I could see she is not going to give up and now know she is not going to put two and two together.  The image below is before (me on the left teaching) and after.


So I finally said “wait a minute”, grab some paper, write my former name down and hand it to her. She looks at the name, looks up, looks down and then finally looks up and says WOW I would not had guessed. She puts the paper down and hugs me. We chat for a few minutes and then she was off to a meeting.

Two days later and several days after that we talk more but never once bring up my past again and treated me like a friend/co-worker.

So with that there is something to be said about those either starting in some place into a journey of transitioning that it gets better as time goes by. What I mean by it gets better is (for those who are cisgender) when a person either male or female begins thinking of transitioning are usually very fearful of a) being discovered b) thinking they will never be accepted by friends, family and co-workers. Sure the ugly truth is there are backwards thinking people who will never accept a transgender person but the majority will. More times than not the rejection comes from the person transitioning by words, actions and attire which causes cisgender people to feel uncomfortable with them.

It’s easy for me to say “I have been there done that” and say nothing else but the truth is, I was frighten to step out my front door in fear of being made but learned from others before me that it does not have to be that way. Also, when I told my neighbors about transitioning two of them said, “what took you so long?” I responded with “What do you mean”, they said yeah we have seen you sneaking out dressed and thought that I should had just came out then.

I said I was fearful of doing this especially before obtaining a letter to allow me to have surgery. Wish I knew that then but I am now telling other transgender people the truth, you may believe you are sneaking out but there are always eyes watching.

Take it from someone who has been there, like with the manager I mentioned above and she was not the first this happened with me, at least 10 people in my past could not recognize me. Hormones and confidence in oneself goes a long way to blending in as the gender you were suppose to be.

Swinger’s club II



The club I went to last night does tours between 6 and 8 then it’s members only and that most members show up starting around 8:30. So to my surprise when arriving at just before eight the parking lot is almost full. Then I remembered, last week Adam and Eve cancelled a rope demonstration which was rescheduled for last night.

Upon walking in the president gives me a hug, he is that type of person and I said, the demonstration just started so you didn’t miss anything. There are some seats up front if you like.

From Adam and Eve’s, a woman dressed in  dominatrix attire was presenting the demonstration with a male representative and a male model. She goes there a discussion about types of ropes followed by showing two basic knots. Next she tells she will tie up the model and expects it to take thirty minutes to one hour.

Both her and the model were fun to watch while the representative had a table setup with literature on this topic.

For the first half of the demonstration was done in the dance room then moved to one of the playrooms were there happened to be a couple getting it one so there were two shows going on at once.

So, at the end the woman started off with one hundred and thirty feet of room when done had roughly six inches left and as I saw it knew exactly what she needed. Now that was fun to watch.

During the demonstration I had a couple sit next to me where the husband had eye’s for me and at one point said I was gorgeous (which I still have troubles accepting myself this way) and was interested in playing. I thanked him for the compliment and told him early on that I had a long day driving in a car club and that I was not up to playing and he was accepting of this.

Next week is the monthly gang-bang which is the first weekend of each month. I signed up to watch, not participate. In this event females are given wrist bands to hand out to men they want to play with which as gang-bangs go will be many men to a woman and the female has all the power in these events. So this is not your typical gang-bang where the men have the power. Will be fun to see this next weekend.

Since there are no cameras or cell phones allowed this is a picture of half the dance floor and in the background a room that runs continuous porn which members have full control over what to play/watch.


Swingers club

Several weeks ago I decided after seeing a site on the web about a swingers club I contacted them about details and was offered a tour of the club. So that weekend I did the tour and spent about an hour chit-chatting with the president and his wife and thought that this would be a great place to spend a night on the weekend.

Some specifics, it’s not all about sex, instead after going there the past few weekends learned (and this was told to me at the tour) there is a great deal of socializing from sitting down at a table and talk to playing pool. What I thought was really great was that females have the power rather than the men and there are very strict rules with things like no means no, ask before touching etc. The rules are in plain sight too.

The first weekend my plan was to simply mingle and not participate. After about thirty minutes after arriving I was being checked out, three men sat down with me and talked for just over an hour, or maybe more, hard to tell as I did not look at the clock until I got tired and decided to leave. During this time the president’s wife said there was one man whom she thought we get along but not soon after we started chatting a female came in, grabbed him and of they went. I was told don’t expect them to come out for several hours.

Mid way through the week he emailed me, we chatted which went well. So that Saturday we met and talked at the bar and then he said, let’s hit the bed room. So off we went and he confided to me that he has a wife and is okay with this along with being bi. Also he was shy in a crowd but the complete opposite in the bedroom (I was told this beforehand). Safe to say without going into details other than he was well endowed we had a great time in the sack.

One of the things we talked about was me bringing my strap-on to play, oh my, I purchased one but have not used it yet, maybe tonight but unsure as I was up on their chat area on their web site and was getting signals from a couple (man and woman) in their early forties.

Oh, I really like the casual style for how some dress, there are a handful of females (with a date assuming boy friend or husband) that dress like in the old salon’s in Western movies. So far I have kept to a slinky black dress the first time and last week a black top and red skirt. No I didn’t forget bra and undies as I did not wear them. Shoes for the first two nights where two different pairs of medium high heels while tonight in over the thigh boots.

You can really prepared for this

So it has been 14 months since my gender reassignment surgery were over the past month or so something has been happening that my surgeon Marci Bowers warned me about which is as follows.

You may have times when the simple action of rubbing your private parts against clothing may cause arousal. Well when it first started in the past month it was not that bad and kind of nice, just walking along and things began to get aroused to a point but then got to the point I would have to stop walking else possibly cause a scene for having a full blown orgasm.

Now it’s been crazy over the past two weeks where I will be sitting at work and get to the point I can’t function as I once did because I am dealing with O’s and thinking of what I am doing which really both of these things conflict with each other.

Last Saturday night I attended an event at a Swinger’s club were the club is about both socializing and sex and got asked by several men about my O’s and said in some many words what I liked. I was asked if I was interested in having sex that night and said no, I am simply getting to know the place and people. And oh, by the way I have been experiencing orgasms sitting here talking to you. Two of the men at my table said, well that’s impressive as most woman your age have difficulties in bed having orgasms let alone having when while sitting down and moving their hips.

With that said, while writing the above I had to get up and re-position myself because of the sensations going on down there.

For anyone reading this who is going down the road of having genital reassignment surgery be aware this may very well happen to you too. Best to be forewarned then having this happen to you without prior notice it can happen.

For now I have to deal with this but sure hope things will settle down over time.

Year one


The demise of Kevin, my former self is but a distant memory looking back exactly one year after the birth of Karen.

Several months ago a co-worker ask me (because he had forgotten) when I had changed to Karen and before I could answer he said that Kevin is a distant memory to him even thou he had worked with me for twenty years.  Then two other team members chimed in (we all sit in an open office) and said he remembered and also agreed that my former self was a distant memory.

There are several woman at work that either knew me before while some only afterward that treat me like any cisgender female.

The above to me indicates over the past year I have done things proper, meaning being myself, not resurrecting my former self.

Another indicator is nobody in recent time (looking back six months plus) has asked me any questions about my transition.

If there is anything at all to take away from this entry is leaving the past behind is imperative to enjoying life after transition. When I hit a date such as today, my surgery date I do think back a tad but then move on.

The Danish Girl


I had many struggles throughout my life living in a male body with a female living within and somehow managed to never get suicidal or deeply depressed as something inside of me knew that I could breakout of the my male shell. Many who are or will travel down the same path will not be so fortunate in this regard. They will be  suicidal, depressed and ostracized by both family, friends and co-workers. They may meet an untimely death at the hands of others or themselves. There are others like me who no doubt share a similar story and for them and myself we are semi-fortunate.

If the above was not enough some will find it impossible to afford surgery out of pocket (which I did) while others will be denied the cost of surgery from insurance companies although in recent times a handful of insurance companies are flipping the majority of the cost.

The next hurdle is coupled with cost. One should expect to pay when all is said and done roughly 40,000 to $50,000 dollars for therapist, doctors, plastic surgeons and other cost. Some will take the affordable route which is overseas surgery where a 10,000 dollar procedure. If this is the road taken you may be putting your life in the hands of those medical personal that more likely than not don’t speak English nor do those where you are staying.

To the point, I just watched at the movie theater “The Danish Girl” where a female is inside a physical male body in 1926. She learns of gender reassignment surgery which has not be tried out and volunteers to be the first. The movie overall was about getting to surgery which was not known.

The surgeon indicated two surgeries were needed, first remove the penis then after weeks of recovery create a vagina.

Directly after the first surgery she was in so much pain they had to physically restrain her and sedate her. She is in a hurry for the second surgery where her wife says to wait but she can’t.

Sadly she did not last long after the second surgery before passing.

I left the theater in what seemed like myself but on the drive home I nearly burst into tears feeling sorry for her (not the actor) and could not shake the emotions running though me all the time wishing I could had leaned on someone for comfort.

Two years ago this would never had phased me but now the hormones are in full bloom and with that comes varying degrees of emotional responses.

Any ways, Lilly passed and was a pioneer in many ways. So much pain and she was never fully female in the physical. When I had gender reassignment surgery it was seven hours, stayed under for three hours more. When I woke there was zero pain and no need for a second surgery. Let’s call it one hundred years between her and my surgery and one might say it’s expected that progress was made yet I hear of some people having the same surgery even twenty years ago with immense pain after surgery.

One final thing to say is people like me (and I have said this before) have no choice in the need to physically correct the physical body and Lilly saw several doctors were some did radiation treatments, wanted to drill holes in her head and/or place her into a mental hospital. I bet there are still people in society that believe modern medicine can cure transgender people, if someone is truly transgender that will not happen.

Thanks for reading.