When I got my new driver’s license it did not register until about two or three hours after someone here said I should be doing back flips that I was now officially Karen Payne. At the Social Security office, same thing, did not hit me for hours later but did not do the preverbal back flip (like I could really do one at my age).

Yesterday I went to bed at 5:30PM and out like a light. I usually like a dog, spin around two or three time then eyes shut, not last night.

If I were excited as I should be I would have issues sleeping but nope. What I believe is that surgery is but a single aspect in the transitioning process where some may want to do back flips but really the back flips should be done on the road to transitioning like “I have been prescribed hormones”, this one is difficult to know when it happens sometimes, “you ‘feel’ female” and are accepted as female along with how you are out in public. I can not remember the last time someone thought I was male which is when I should had done a back flip but it went by unnoticed. I know that some might perhaps wonder but that is difficult to tell also as they may very well have a interest in me which (and I will take um) at this point I am not use to. When I am it will be another milestone but as I have said in ths past I am only interested in woman.

So tomorrow is the big day, I am indeed very happy but not excited as one might think. DO NOT get me wrong as I have been waiting for this for way too long and welcome surgery open armed, just not making a huge deal out of it as this is were I should had been and now will “be”.