Monthly Archives: January 2015

Final preparations

24 Saturday Jan 2015

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There are many little things to do before leaving like alert the trusted neighbors (and give them my house and mailbox key) for security and no overflow of mail. Luckily my mailbox is a very secure lock box and the neighbors are great who I have known for about 18 years.

Empty from the kitchen things that will not be good in two weeks. Setup my living room recliner with adult size bed pads and KY Jelly (and paper towels) for dilation (three times each day). Secure all my weapons and musical instruments.  There is just a lot of little things.

Now I am going to wash my hair, more likely than not the next time I can wash my hair will be in over a week.

I am so sure there will be other things as the night wears on and will handle them as they come to mind. One thing is for sure, I am going out to dinner.

This girl is ready!!!

Waxing not so bad

23 Friday Jan 2015

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Had a schedule for my first waxing this morning. I have heard that it hurts when they remove the strips but was pleasantly surprised that it was not that bad. She was going to do my legs but she said, there is virtually no hair on your legs, when was the last time you shaved them? I said about two months ago so with that she did not bother with my legs. First she did my bikini line, both highs and above the public area then moved on to my arm pits. For my armpits she did some plucking afterwards as there were a few hairs running a different growth cycle (if you have had electrolysis done you know what I mean).

When she was done she said good luck with surgery next week and please text me when you are feeling up to it after surgery telling her how things went.  I have been working with her on and off for the past three years on various parts of my body and have become not only operator and client but friends and do tend to talk a good deal while she works on me,

Learning to speak female

23 Friday Jan 2015

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I have seen a fair amount of videos that show someone speaking female then lower down to their original male voice then back up to female. Well this is great as in I hear that it can be done I know that voice lessons are still in order.

In the mean time I have been working with a simple iPhone (PitchLab) app that was not made for this but does test you. Just recently I purchased a new Dell laptop with a webcam that included software called Webcam Central that allows me to see myself talking along with facial language which really helps me more so than the iPhone app.

So if you are transitioning you might consider finding PitchLab and/or work with a webcam to record yourself, play it back and learn from it.

Learn how men treat woman

22 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by in Life, My journey, Others view points

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In my former life I taught self-defense on a weekly basis which as both fun and taxing since being a senior instructor for a group that was extremely busy meant I was also teaching one night a week for four hours and on most weekends taught one or two days then now and then even took off work for special classes such as military heading to the sandbox that wanted last minute training.

I belonged too several forums specific to talking about all facets of self-defense and many times specifically with firearms and had been a respected member. So now I have left the majority of this behind and have signed up as Karen and noticed sometimes I am not taken seriously which I heard would happen even with the same knowledge and expertise I see females are not taken the same as men. A wise woman told me that “It’s a man’s world” and expect to be treated differently when it comes to things that I am an expert on.

My background includes certifications in teaching close quarter combat, edge weapons, firearms, LEO baton and handcuffing along with several other things which I will not go into here. It’s going to be interesting to see how things go thinking online but there is no doubt that I can hold my own person to person as I am well versed in the areas above.

So it begins~

Surgery date/times confirmed

21 Wednesday Jan 2015

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Just received a confirmation email from the surgeons office for pre-surgery appointment this Monday at  9 AM and surgery this Tuesday at 7:30 AM.

So now it’s just waiting out the next six days, take it easy and they will pass in no time. So it has been 59 years on this Earth in the wrong body which is now being ‘fixed’ next week. I expect this to be one of if not the worst pain my body will have felt in my life but I consider “Pain as transitory” which will rectify to non-pain in about one week but then there is still four to six weeks recovery and several months to go for things down there to look as they should. It is a very small price to pay for this life changing event. 

Morning chores

21 Wednesday Jan 2015

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Started off at the Sheriff’s office to renew my concealed handgun permit. Once in the appointment had a nice talk with the woman processing my renewal and got into a discussion about teaching which lead to me telling her were I use to teach for ten plus years. She said the group has much more people coming to their office for their CHL. Then she asked if I know a deputy, oh yes, we worked a few stakeouts together, taught firearms and he was a student of mine for edge weapons training and too boot he had asked me to supply security for this wedding a couple of years back in California. Also noted I still not sure how he found time to work here in Oregon and meet/date a woman six hours away in California, never did pry. Seems with the the talking when asked to review my new concealed handgun license she had spelled my name Jare and had to do it over again.

Then I get a call from the surgeons office saying they did not get the full fee for surgery, where is it? I pointed out I paid by certified check dated 12/5/2014. Then they also indicate my second letter of recommendation had not arrived. Okay I am officially worried.

But wait, they call me back and said they found the certified check had been cashed my their accounting department but still did not get the letter.

So off to UPS, drive through lunch time traffic which was not the best then do the FAX. Hopefully all is well know. Time for some lunch and de-stress.

A Day of errands

21 Wednesday Jan 2015

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Went to the Social Security office to obtain a new SSN card and realized going at 8:45 (they open at 9 AM) thinking I could walk right in, I was sadly mistaken as it’s a day after a holiday. Had to get in a rather long line for a 15 minute wait in clothes not suited for standing out in the cold, my ballerina slippers quick made my feet feel like I had no shoes on and it’s just under 40 degrees. I thought it could not get worst but in that 15 minutes I was hit on by two men. Finally the door open, another ten minutes to get a ticket, sit down and wait. Didn’t have to wait more than five minutes before my name was called. Indicated I was there for a name and gender change, a few questions, show my letter for my therapist and driver license and done. My new SSN card should arrive while I am in California recuperating from surgery.

Went home for a nice hot cup of coffee then packed my UPS Luggage and drive over to the UPS store. I went there last week to see when I should ship the luggage, they said Tuesday would be fine and do not close the luggage, if packing is needed they would pack it. Well the woman opened the luggage to see six tubes of KY jelly and gave me a look, I smiled back and said (could not resist), I am going to have fun this coming weekend.

Back home for a bite to eat then off to the local courthouse to obtain a document to use for a name change on my Concealed Handgun Permit at 10am tomorrow morning. They did say my pen could not go inside (not surprised as it’s a tactical pen) and they said it would be held for me.

Of course once home I realized that I did not pack enough of my meds for the trip, only a weeks worth so I immediately put another week’s meds in a container and placed it in my laptop backpack which is the only thing I am taking on the plane as I would be lost without my laptop.

Six more days and counting woohoo!  

American Express

20 Tuesday Jan 2015

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I have been working on updating my name to many entities and have found that the majority are not prepared for name changes. I was pleasantly surprised how easy it is with American Express.

Call customer service, no wait time, asked what I needed help with via an automated answering system. I reply, name change. A service representative answered within less than one minute. She walked me through the process online for a name change which included a button to upload an image of my driver license. From here they process the name change in a seven to ten day processing time period. Wish all places I needed to change my name at were that easy.

Tomorrow another trip to the Social Security office which hopefully will be quick.

Spinning our yarn

18 Sunday Jan 2015

Posted by in Life, My journey, Thoughts

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I heard the following quote recently and thought this really applied to me. Think about it, this is somewhat of a paradox thinking about first there is the realization “I was born in the wrong body, my brain and physical body are not in alignment”. In general, the brain is befuddled and in many cases leads one on a either a downward spiral in some cases to suicide or hover in a never-ending poor quality of life because we feel helpless concerning gender identity. I truly believe that there are two main factors that can change one’s course is their own fortitude/resolve to make the appropriate life change, male to female, female to male coupled with the general consensus of their community.   

“When it comes to life, we spin our own yarn, and where we end up is really, in fact, where we always intended to be.”
― Julia Glass, Three Junes

We may spin our own yarn either in a positive or negatively manner which may be based on self-worth and/or how our community perceives you. Then we need to consider resources outside of our physical community which in many cases comes from support groups on the world wide web.

If you start off with the wrong mindset because your community dictates you as an outcast then you are heading in the wrong direction. If the community is of this mindset and you simply sit back and do nothing life will never be great. If instead those on the same journey to transitioning make a pack with one’s self to do what it takes which surely means a little or a lot of sacrifice then life can very well be great which closes the circle and we end up where we always should had been. So it is up to me and you to spin the yarn and become one with ourselves.  

I recently wrote about my hair stylist telling me that I was a much happier person and interesting enough another professional indicates the same. I could had spun my yarn completely different and end up in a bad place and may not have noticed I had but instead I am doing what will in the end make my happy. It does come at a cost, let’s say forty-thousand dollars for what it takes for GRS (Gender Realignment Surgery) and giving up activities I truly felt like I could not but now have found I can reclaim some of what I had lost and see good things happening down the road. 

Life is good and looking forward for what lies ahead.

Driver license

17 Saturday Jan 2015

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Last week I applied for my new Driver license with my new name and gender at which time I was given a temporary paper copy. They said it would take about one week to arrive and sure enough it arrived today. Having the paper version felt really good but the plastic permanent version feel spectacular.

My next milestone is getting a new Oregon Conceal Handgun Permit which currently is in my former name and gender which will change on Wednesday. The nice things about this is the permit is given to me right away as I already have one.

Its the little things that are really big things and I am so happy to have these two done this week.