Since yesterday been dealing with bowel movements and thought I was done until while out at the mall close by getting socks for my boots I began feeling really crappy (excuse the pun) from that feeling one gets from having to go where you know it is not your standard bowel movement. Called the hotel to get a ride, they were just leaving to pick up people at the airport and I said (rather than wait) pick me up and I will do the round trip so they did and the air made me feel much better. Back to the hotel and complete the bowel movement, feeling much better and wanted to relax but then my mouth started hurting (I need a bridge but wanted to wait till after surgery) egads, one thing after another but took the red pills and 30 minutes later feeling better.

Thinking health wise for surgery, as told there is about 90 percent less drainage so I am now using less pads. While looking down there I notice much of the black and blue and swallowing has demised so that is going great. I also notice since Marci removed the padding (I mentioned this in another entry) I do not need my donut anymore thank goodness.

Tonight I going out with a friend and hope my bowel issue does not raise it’s ugly head again.

Took the hotel shuttle to Marci’s office with a few other passengers. I jumped in the front as I have a repore with all the drivers and chatted all the way over about skiing.

Arrived at Marci’s office and learned that the two in the back were going to her office too. They walked kind of slow but I waited for them at the front door and let them in.

At that exact moment my COP mindset drill it’s way to the frontal cortex and knew they were in a completely different world but I will test this shortly and validate this unknown.

Now I am not one for judging others and not judging them but something was way off. I attempted to start a normal conversation but got a cold shoulder and then stopped as I need not worry about them but that is hard because I care about people. I listen to the one filling out the pre-surgery papers and decided (against my better judgment) to say something helpful then rather than wait for a response slowly turn away.

Marci was in the back, she saw me and came up to chat then took the other person in the back for a consultation. Not trying to hear them talk (there goes the COP mindset again) but it was apparent the patient was not very knowledgeable to the surgery they will have tomorrow. Enough on that topic.

I am lead back into a room, asked to take my bottom stuff off and she would be back shortly. She comes back, positions me and indicates the pee bag is to be removed first and may feel strange. It came out and I said, is it out yet and she chuckled. She then says the packing comes out next and there is a lot and may be irritating and/or hurt. She must had pulled for a full 60 seconds, looked up at one point and made humorous remark, kind of like a magician pulling a endless scarf from their pocket. Next I was introduced to the dilation tools, there are four sizes but they supply three and at this point do not even want to see the larger one that is not in the set eek.

She preps the middle size one, guides it in and it reaches just past 6.5 inches in depth where they are looking for six inches.  Pulls it out and she said “your turn”.  It got it right the first time, left it in for a couple of minutes and at that time she said you can leave it in for the allotted 15 minutes or pull it out and do the process at the hotel. I elected to do this at the hotel. I was given a official document stating I went through a irreversible genital reassignment surgery that is notarized.

Back at the hotel I did my first solo dilation on myself, lots of blood which at this time is normal. For the next three months I dilate three times per day for 15 minutes session then 2 x times a day till the nine month mark then 1 x a day there after. This is a major commitment which I wholeheartedly signed up for so I am embracing it. Both times were easy but remember I am using the starter size. In the second week I will start up with the smaller one for say two minutes then move to the next size for 15 minutes. How does it feel. bad, good or strange? Heard it all, for me, none of these but instead simply a time period I need to lay there with the tool in me. So it is not bad or good which is great for me.

Update, just did my second round of dilation, there was virtually no blood compared to the last time. I did have to push just a tad more to get it in. I should note, I gently push while slightly rotating the tool.